Do not get cocky with the laundry gods!
You know them, there is the god of dirty laundry, the god of clean laundry and the god of folded laundry. Now let's say you tick of the god of folded laundry by leaving your nice stack where the toddler can get at it, say on the dining room table. Well the god of folded laundry doesn't like this kind of blatant neglect and he will send the toddler with honey and peanut butter covered hands over to your precious stack and have him touch every piece and toss it on the dog.
If by chance you tick off the god of clean of laundry, by neglecting a load in the wash or innocently leaving a clean load (or 4) on the couch for a day or two. He will simply send in his two favorite pawns moldyruin and catpuckupus.
All of this because they both answer to the god of dirty laundry known as Smellypiles. He/she/it is not a benevolent god. He is a dirty bastard of a god.
Well I pissed him off. Not on purpose, I swear it was an accident (irrelevant). In front of the laundry room I spoke the words "yes! I'm on it" I did all of the laundry. I was caught up. On a roll. That very day storm clouds began to gather above my laundry room. There was the milk spill in the morning. No biggy cause I'm on top of the laundry. Smellypiles found my cockiness to be irritating. Later in the day Simon was wandering around free of diaper, and pooped on the floor. Luckily there was a comforter on the floor to catch most of the poo. What it didn't catch the shag rug picked up. Still feeling smug I went and put it in the wash. Because I was all over it, thus the washer was empty and ready.
Simon stayed in a diaper the rest of the day. Unfortunately Smellpiles took it off on one side. After Simon pooped (yes again), where he vigorously shook his leg and jumped up and down on the bed and floor.
Back to the laundry for penance. Begging forgiveness I stared at the knee high pile on the floor and swore that I would never again try to have all of the laundry done. If need be I would make ritual sacrifices, get a puppy, expose my children to tainted food. Whatever it takes. Please forgive me.
I was too late Smellypiles was blinded with rage. The dog peed on the floor twice, the coffee pot overflowed. Need I say more. So now things have slowed down as we are back at status quo.
Piles of laundry on the floor, everyone's basket is full, no one can find a towel. Yes the laundry gods are satisfied. But I am still plotting ways around their ridged rules. Less clothing for one. Indeed maybe potty training, hmmmmm no diapers now that would be a terrific coup.
Posted in: family life on Friday, February 27, 2009 at at 8:28 AM
I came by earlier but left no dirty laundry so you may not have seen me.Got the mail. Later
Hank